Madrun (madrun) wrote,
Madrun
madrun

One Obsession

In the past few months I have made a new realization about myself. I have discovered a new thing.

I should only have one obsession at a time.

When I started looking into permaculture techniques a year ago, I was immediately intrigued. Then I got more than intrigued. I stepped off the cliff and started devouring everything I could find. Permaculture design principles fit into the interlocking puzzle in my brain of pagan land use/sanctity of land/local food/gardening/terroir morass like a missing piece in the middle, locking it all together, making it spin off in new and unexpected directions. Big ways. Like "I'm thinking about writing a book" kind of ways. Then we moved into the new house and it's all like this giant playground and endless science experiment and I can try all these new things... and it has completely eaten my brain. I love it, but it's eaten my brain.

It's awfully hard to concentrate on a feast when there's compost to be turned. It's awfully hard to concentrate on writing reports for work when there are plants and lizards and butterflies beckoning. The garden is taking over my local food blog, that's for sure, and I can't even decide if I want to wrench it back. I'm scaling back everything possible for time in the garden. I'm structuring my weekends around garden projects as much as cooking projects, sometimes more. "The Garden" is now a line item in our monthly household budget.

I'm giving up shoe money for truckloads of mulch, y'all.

Feasts require one's full attention, and usually for me I eat, breathe, and dream about a feast for three months or so. I have the whole thing in my head weeks before the actual event, the whole cohesive vision plus all the little details. Here I am 3 weeks before the feast and I have done almost nothing. Yeah there's a menu, I've done most of the recipe testing, I've sourced most of the ingredients... but I haven't done the back-brain simmering, the obsessive pricing and budgeting, none of the gruntwork writing that a feast needs to run well and for me to be able to be on top of it when the unexpected happens. 'cause the unexpected always happens. The feast has always been my sole obsession.

So, from now until November 9th, I need to eat, breathe, and dream this feast as much as possible. The workshops for the pagan gathering I could teach tomorrow. They need very little prep work. I have one project to finish and then I'll be in a good pausing place with the garden for a few weeks. This feast needs a lot of love and attention and work between now and then. 'cause this one has to be the best feast I've ever done.
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