Madrun (madrun) wrote,

Not even my subconscious is subtle

Stress and anxiety are two different emotional/mental states.


1. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
2. A desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.


2. mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension

Believe it or not, I never really separated or differentiated between the two words, never really paid attention, until just a few months ago when my acupuncturist asked me to rate my level of stress from a 1 to a 10 and I answered "nine and a half", but then the words he used didn't describe how I was feeling at all. We talked it out and realized that he said stress but meant anxiety, and while I was feeling a great deal of stress due to a tight schedule, large amounts of responsibility, and high stakes... I wasn't very anxious at all. I was confident in my abilities, I understood the parameters, and had a detailed plan in place. 

Anxiety for me is a huge blinking red neon sign that I'm not working hard enough or prioritizing well. So when I had a long dream a few nights ago about trying to organize a last-minute dinner and food burned, things tasted bad, no one showed up, etc... that was the anxiety dream kick in the pants I needed to get me going on this feast. Not even my subconscious is subtle.

So Friday I did almost all of the price shopping for ingredients, and tonight I tested 4 recipes and typed out about half the recipes for the entire feast. And now I feel much calmer. 
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